Teen Dating Violence
Definition:
Dating Violence occurs when one person gains power and control in the relationship by verbal, emotional, physical and/or sexual abuse.
The dominant characteristics of an abusive dating relationship are jealousy, possessiveness and over-exaggerated attention. These may be perceived as flattery and loving devotion.
There is a lot of pressure on teens to have a boyfriend or girlfriend in order to fit in. Often teens have little or no knowledge of healthy versus unhealthy dating relationships. This is especially true if they were raised in a family where they witnessed one parent abuse the other.
Most women in long-term abusive relationships identify that there were signs and symptoms of abusive behaviour when they were dating their partner. They express regret that they did not get help or leave the relationship before things "got worse" and children were born. Therefore, it is important that at an early age, teens are aware, recognize and understand the seriousness of dating violence.
Statistics and Facts:
- 1 in 10 teens are affected by dating violence.
- 1/3 of young adults between the ages of 16-24 have reported being involved in at least one abusive dating situation.
- 95% of all people who are the victims in an abusive relationship are women.
- Date rape accounts for 60% of all rapes.
- More than 70% of pregnant teens and young mothers are in abusive relationships.
- Dating violence increases in severity the longer the relationship continues.
- There is increased danger for the victim when trying to terminate the relationship without intervention and assistance from professionals.
Could This Be Your Teenager?
1. Does your teen come home with unexplained injuries?
8 Questions To Ask...2. Do you see signs that your teenager is afraid of their partner?
3. Does the partner check up on your teen?
4. Does the partner lash out, call names or talk cruelly to or about your teenager?
5. Does your teen seem to giving up things that were once important? Or has your son/daughter lost interest in school, friends, time with family, activities?
6. Does your teenager apologize for the partner's behavior to you and others?
7. Have you seen the partner be abusive or display aggressive behaviors towards other people, property &/or pets?
8. Has your teenager's appearance &/or behavior changed?
If you answered 'yes' to two or more of the above questions, your teenager may be in an abusive dating relationship. While some types of abuse or assault are more dangerous than others, all should be taken seriously.
7 Things You Can Do If Your Teen Is A Victim Of Teen Dating Abuse
1. Become Informed:It is important in order to support your teen that you are well informed of the dynamics of dating violence. Literature is available through
Envision, other professional agencies, libraries and the internet.2. Ask About The Relationship:
Similar to any other type of abuse, often the victim is hoping that someone will help them. As a parent the question has to be asked before help can be made available.
3. Believe Them:
Some people won't believe her/him for various reasons. Let them know that you do.
4. Don't Blame Them:
It is difficult for a teen to come forward for fear of being blamed. Put his/her feelings above your need to be right, and avoid saying "I told you so." Remind them that it is not their fault. It may take time for your teen to believe that you will support them.
5. Be Supportive:
Be supportive, listen and let them talk when they need to.
Maintain open and respectful communication.
There are many things going through their minds and it will take time to sort things out. You must be there for them.6. Let Them Make Choices:
Don't force any decisions on them. Someone took control away from them and they need to learn to make their own decisions again.
Give your teen time. Do not pressure them to do what you want, opposed to what they want.7. Seek professional help for your teen and yourself:
Having a teen in an abusive relationship is difficult for everyone involved. Find counsellors or agencies who specialize in the area of dating violence and can support you, your family and your teen.
Envision's 24-Hour Support Line (1-800-214-7083) Volunteers can direct you to information, options, support and counselors.
Photo by Mangpages.
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