Partner Abuse
Partner Abuse is known as Spousal Abuse, Wife Abuse, Interpersonal/Relationship Abuse and Intimate Partner Abuse.
See why we offer Individual Counselling.
Regardless of how it is referred to, Remember;
* You are a good person.
* You do not deserve to be abused.
* No one has the right to hurt you.
* You have a right to be free from the abuse.
* You can learn to take care of yourself and your children.
* There is help available.
Check out this booklet on Getting out.
Click Here To Hide Your Tracks When Surfing.
Spousal Abuse is a learned pattern of abusive behaviors (verbal abuse, emotional abuse, physical abuse, or sexual abuse) used by one person to control the other person in an intimate relationship.
For the purpose of this webpage, we will refer to the victims as 'she' and the abusers as 'he'. (As many as 6% of men are abused by their female partners.)
Are You Being Abused?
It is important to know the signs of partner abuse and to know you don't have to tolerate it. Has or does your intimate partner:-ignore or minimize your feelings
-punish or deprive your child when angry at you
-criticize you, call you names
-shout at you
-humiliate you in public or private
-lie, tell stories, accuse you of having affairs
-threaten to leave or tell you to leave
-insult and/or drive you friends away
-expect you to ask permission to go out/spend money
-withhold sex and affection
-criticize you sexually
-fly off the handle easily
-treat women as sex objects
-blame you or everyone else for all problems
-threaten to keep/take the children if you leave
-threaten to hurt you or your family
-throw objects at you
-slap, kick, choke, bite or punch you
-threaten to hurt you with a weapon
-subject you to reckless driving
-force you to have sex
If you are still unsure, ask yourself the following questions:
-Do you often doubt your judgment or wonder if you're crazy?
-Do you see less of friends and family than you used to or would like to?
-Have you lost confidence in your abilities?
-Do you feel afraid of your partner and feel as if you are "walking on eggshells"?
-Are you unhappy most of the time?
-Do you feel hopeless and overwhelmed?
If you answered "YES" to any of these questions, you can talk to someone who can help you. There are options available for people who are being or have been abused by their partners.
Partner Abuse - What Are Your Options?
1. Stay in the relationship and accept it as it is.This is a very dangerous option. There is a possibility someone will die if no changes are made. Some people are murdered, others are pushed to the limit and they murder, others commit suicide.
You must realize that your children are also suffering and these effects may continue into their adult life. For example, they may become abusers, end up in abusive relationships, develop eating disorders, abuse alcohol &/or drugs, etc...
2. Stay in the relationship where change is occurring.
Partner abuse offenders need to recognize that they need professional help and that it is wrong for them to abuse you.
You cannot make changes for them. Nothing you do will stop your partner's behaviour.
You also need someone to talk to. Find a counsellor with whom you are comfortable. Together you can explore the dynamics of your relationship and rebuild your self-esteem. Join a support group. You'll be surprised how many people have experienced a similar situation.
3. Leave the relationship and move towards a healthy environment for you and your children.
Deciding to leave is a painful decision. However, once you leave, you can start to take charge of your life and begin to make decisions for yourself.
______
Facts About Abuse - Did You Know...
- 1 in 4 women (25%) in Saskatchewan is abused by the man she lives with.
- Domestic Violence is the #1 cause of injury to women and accounts for more injuries than rape, muggings and auto accidents combined.
- A woman is 9 times more likely to be killed by her partner than by a stranger.
- Each year 24,000 children in Saskatchewan are witnessing abuse - domestic violence.
- People who abuse believe they have the right to have power and control over their partner. They usually blame their behavior on something or someone else. Their jobs may be too stressful, they are unemployed, their partner 'provoked' them. The most common excuse for spousal abuse is alcohol.
Abuse is most often a learned behaviour. Seventy-five percent of men who abuse grew up witnessing abuse in their homes. Abusive behaviour is passed on from generation to generation and without professional intervention, will continue. Get help.
Photo by Simon Grossi.
Children Witnessing Abuse
Return To Home Page From Partner Abuse
Hide Your Tracks
